Murfies Modeling Mandates, or Modeling 101

There once was a guy named Murphy and he devised rules for almost everything in life and got a chuckle from most who tried to obey.

There were Murphy's Military Laws, Murphy's Love Laws, Murphy's Sex Laws and Murphy's Technology Laws...

But he never got into scale modeling leaving many of us without direction in pulling together our creations.

Then along came Murfie...

  1. Built into every modeler’s workbench is a black hole that swallows parts. Only on rare occasions will the modeler ever see that part again though he may hear it rattling through the vacuum cleaner.
    1. Only highly detailed scratch built parts or those with no replacement fall into this hole.
    2. The probability of dropping your most needed part is inversely proportional to the size of the part.
    3. The closer the color of your part matches the color of the carpet (that’s right no sound will give away the location) the more likely you will drop it.
    4. Once dropped, your treasured part will bounce immediately to the most inaccessible area of the room covering a horizontal distance equal to the length of the drop multiplied by the time spent in searching.
    5. A dropped X-acto knife will always fall point first and contrary to (d.), the blade point will find your foot. It will not bounce.
    6. The moment you cease your search for a dropped part, you will step on it.

  1. The amount of time it takes to build a kit is equal to the sum of the time spent in research plus the number of plan pages multiplied by the number of parts less the time it takes for the glue to dry.
    1. The more un-built kits you have on shelves, the fewer kits you will actually complete.
    2. Your un-built kits will expand inversely proportional to the tightness with which they are packed.
    3. Reference materials, magazines and plans will increase in volume inversely proportional to the available space.

  1. Regardless of your bench’s dimensions in feet, your work space will be done in a five-inch square just inside the front lip.
  2. The minute you purchase a new $9 modeling tool, you will find it in the Dollar Store in a pack of three.
  3. Regardless of your method for sealing paint containers you will find it has dried out two days prior to its intended use.
  4. The amount you pay for a new paint brush is directly proportional to the number of weeks it will contain dried paint.
  5. All kit manufacturers are committed to an association directive to hold new releases until six months after they have been scratch built at least six times.
  6. The odds the paint will go in the wrong place are in direct proportion to the number of hours spent building what ever it is you're painting.
  7. The chances of the large part falling painted side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
  8. The absolute need for a lost part increases exponentially with the need to finish a model

Seriously

On a more serious note here is a 10-minute instructional on cleaning and preparing plastic models:

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